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Daily Poll/Archive/May 2008
May 29, 2008 *Points: White House Books, Impeachment Hearings *Truths: Scott McClellan, Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, Valerie Plame, The Greatest Vice President EVER! Who really lied about Valerie Plame Wilson? Scott McClellan in his book. Karl Rove. Scooter Libby. The Greatest Vice President Ever (informally, Dick Cheney). Valerie Plame about her real last name. May 28, 2008 *Points: Republican Terrorists *Truths: vegans, books, facts, terrorists, Republicans Who is terrorizing the Republican National Convention? People who know the facts. People who read books. People who ignore truthiness. Vegans. May 26, 2008 *Points: memorialization *Truths: Memorial Day, vets, troops, NYFD, John W. McCain What was the most important thing you had a memory of on Memorial Day? That I had to work at Wal-Mart for a sale. To watch George W. Bush's speech about remember'n memories. To support the troops by putting up my John McCain 100 MORE! lawn sign. The phone number for 911 to put the gas grill fire out. May 14, 2008 *Points: McCain Campaign Lobbyists, McCain Lobbyists, Wikipedia Maverick John McCain *Truths: Charlie Black, lobbyists, John McCain, wikilobbyists, Saudi Arabia, Wikipedia What's most impressive about the 112 lobbyists running John McCain's campaign for President? They take longer to remove from your fingers than the orange stuff on Doritos. Besides dictators, they have ties to Saudi Arabia, which has a lot of oil. Charlie Black. His lobbyists help bring wikilobbyists to Wikipedia. May 13, 2008 *Points: Earthquake Causes, Largst China Earthquake Murders 10,000, Panda Huggers in Quake, Giant Panda's Survive *Truths: China, global warming, climate change, bears, pandas Why are liberals and scientists upset about the earthquake in China? It may kill 80% of the world's panda bears. They love bears, especially communist bears. It proves global warming is only a "theory", because there were quakes before global warming, and there are quakes now, ergo, there is no global warming. They're breeding giant panda terrorists. May 12, 2008 *Points: (forthcoming) *Truths: biofuel, inflation, war, oil, gas What should be blamed for food price increases and shortages? Increased gas costs. Biofuels. The cost of cleaning up the ozone pollution from biofuels. Clean-up of biofuel spills off the coast of the Mississippi. May 11, 2008 - Mother's Poll *Points: *Truths: Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream, Doritos, Dr. Pepper, Viagra, I Am America (And So Can You!) What did you get your mother on her day? John McCain and a bottle of Viagra. All the Doritos I could fit in my Hummer. As much Americone Dream as would fit in her freezer. A 2 liter Dr. Pepper. Stephen Colbert's best selling book I Am America and So Can You. May 6, 2008 *Points: Billions in Profits from Global Food Crisis, Exxon Invests in 2008 President *Truths: food, hunger, elitists, oil, gas, ExxonMobil, The Greatest President EVER! What's the best part of the global food crisis? The elite will have to decide whether to buy gas stocks or food futures. It means more gas must be bought to fuel the emergency food deliveries. It keeps the terrorists hungry. It shows President Bush can raise the price of anything. May 5, 2008 *Economists Reject Gas Tax Holiday, Free Albums, Environmental Protection Agency Official Fired *oil, gas, Tubes, Exxon, EPA, Dow Chemical, environment, economists, Democrats What's the most bestest part about oil surging over $120? It can't be downloaded for free from the tubes. Economists are filed in Federal Reserve cubes and can't sign bills. EPA officials who demand oil spill clean-ups can be fired. Democrats don't have the balls to demand oil companies lower prices instead. May 1, 2008 *Points: Special Brain Damaged Court for Troops, Brain Damaged Troops Healthcare *Truths: troops, vets, Canada, dollar, drugs, libero-fascists Why does Buffalo hate the troops? Buffalo is in New York, New York elected Hillary, ergo, Buffalo is run by libero-fascists. They're jealous that the Giants got to meet the Greatest President EVER! The troops refuse to sell the good weed to the city council. They don't have Canadian money.